FANATIC!
by Joseibi Tsukino Saotome
Summary: PG for maybe language and extremely mild sexual content (child molestation, but only in a *funny* way :P). STV Hostess SeSe (aka - me) helps fangirls-in-love meet their favorite anime guys! In this episode: Rei meets Matt, Jim gets molestered (XD), and
1. Default Chapter

FANATIC  
  
SeSe: Hello, all you...uh...viewers...I guess =O,o=. Welcome to the newest edition of Fanatic-the show that lets screaming, anime-obsessed girls meet their favorite bishounen! No offense to all you screaming anime-obsessed girls out there. I'm not insulting you. After all, I'm one too. **huggles Jim**  
  
Jim: DA! **huggled**  
  
SeSe: **COUGH** YEAAAAH....anyway, let's meet our fangirl. Everyone say hello to Rei!  
  
Rei: Hi everybody! ^_^  
  
Everybody: HI REI!  
  
Rei: O_O  
  
SeSe: =¬_¬= Uh...don't mind them. It's our studio audience. The people behind this show say that they have to follow us around...  
  
Rei: Uh...that's ok O_o  
  
SeSe: **AHEM** Yeah. Anyway, let's get this started, shall we? We'd better get on over to the Ishida household...  
  
Rei: Yeah!!! ^_^ **overly excited** YAMATO-CHAN!!!!!  
  
SeSe: =O_O= yeaaahh...**gets into the car**  
  
Rei: **gets in also**  
  
Jim: **sigh** **gets in the car**  
  
SeSe: The people behind this show also say that I have to introduce the car driver to you all...he says he's not getting enough "recognition." Anyway, this is Juunanagou...yeah, he's like...an android or something.  
  
Rei: O_O Juu-chan!!  
  
Juunanagou: Hello viewers...and...Rei.  
  
Rei: **has hearts floating above her head**  
  
SeSe: =O_O= Hey, wait...you're meeting two of your favorite bishounen now...I think we're gonna get some complaint--**phone starts ringing** Oh @#$*...  
  
Down at the station, lots of phones start ringing.  
  
SeSe's boss: **shows up on a tiny TV screen in SeSe's pocket** SESE!! YOU'RE FI--**gets cut off**  
  
Jim: Wow, aren't YOU screwed...  
  
SeSe: Hush... **holding the plug to the little TV screen that's used to communicate with her boss** woops uh...how'd that..happen? **throws it** OOOOKKKK! Drive, Juunanagou, DRIVE!  
  
Juunanagou: Gotcha! **drives like a fricken maniac**  
  
SeSe and Rei: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Juunanagou: wahahahaha!  
  
Jim: **used to it** **sigh**  
  
SeSe and Rei: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Juunanagou: WOOOOHOOOO!!  
  
SeSe and Rei: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Studio Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
The car stops.  
  
SeSe and Rei: @_@ **scared stiff** **breathing heavily**  
  
SeSe: WHY MEEEEE!!!!! WHY ALWAYS MEEEE!!!!!!! **COUGH** **regains control** Uhh...yeah...well, here we are at the Ishida residence.  
  
Juunanagou: Gee, I'd love to stay...but this town looks like it has a lot of innocent people in it. I'm gonna go cause some trouble. See ya! **gets out of the car and runs away**  
  
SeSe: ...Dude...  
  
Yamato: **comes out of the house**  
  
Rei: **GASP** He's even cuter in person!!  
  
SeSe: Yes he is. Well, you can have your interview with him now. I'll be sitting in the car...alone....with Jim....**smiles evilly** **runs toward the car** JIMMYYYYYY!!!!!! **gets in**  
  
Lots of banging and screams of "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PSYCHO! GET OFF ME! AAHHH!" are heard.  
  
Rei: **disturbed** **turns back to Yamato** Ohhh, Yama...I've dreamed of this day!  
  
Yamato: You did? Gee, I never thought that someone would be thinking about me. That's kind of...cool.  
  
Rei: Yeah! I think about you all the time! 24/7!  
  
Yamato: **blush** Ahhww...do ya really?  
  
Rei: YEAH! ^_^  
  
Yamato: I feel....I feel so....so loved!!! **embraces Rei tightly**  
  
Rei: ^_^ I'm the luckiest girl alive! **hugs back**  
  
Yamato: **lets her go**  
  
Rei: Yamato...  
  
Yamato: Rei...  
  
Rei and Yamato stare into each other's eyes as beautiful romantic music plays in the background. Then their lips come together for a magical, passionate kiss.  
  
Juunanagou: **tormenting innocent people across town** Hmm...I feel like I should be gagging right now...I wonder why...  
  
The window of the car opens, and Jim's head emerges.  
  
Jim: HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP!! RAAAAAPE!! RAAAA-AAAAHHH!!! **being huggled to death**  
  
SeSe: HEHE! **cuddles Jim**  
  
Jim: PLEEEEAAAASE!!! AAH GOD!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!!! SOMEONE HELP!! THIS CHICK IS CRA-DAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Studio Audience: **not sure what to do** O,o  
  
Yamato and Rei continue to kiss as the romantic music plays.  
  
Jim: AAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Juunanagou: **comes back to the car** **sees Yamato and Rei...and SeSe and Jim** AHH! This is NOT COOL, man!! **starts gagging**  
  
Yamato and Rei just keep kissing.  
  
SeSe: **hog ties Jim and gags him** **wipes her hands** Ahh...there we go. Well, stay tuned for the next episode of Fanatic! See ya!  
  
Jim: MMFFMMM!  
  
SeSe: SHH! **waves**  
  
Rei and Yamato are still kissing, Juunanagou is still gagging, Jim is still struggling, and SeSe is still waving happily as the scene fades out. 


	2. FANATIC! Episode 2 - Arashi meets Geo, Z...

FANATIC  
  
SeSe: And we're back for the second installment of FANATIC. The show that lets screaming fangirls...yeah that entire intro thing. Today's screaming fangirl is Arashi. She requested to be on this show in order to meet the man of HER dreams-  
  
Arashi: GEO!!! =^_^=  
  
SeSe: Yeah. And I was lucky I wasn't fired yesterday for letting Rei meet two of her bishounen and making everyone complain to my boss...But that's another story. I'm looking forward to meeting Geo myself...he has a FRIEND I'd like to meet. **evil smile** Ehe...  
  
Jim: Good...maybe if she likes this guy she'll leave ME alone...  
  
SeSe: Hey! I heard that! =.\_/.=  
  
Jim: WHAT? You hog-tied me, woman!!  
  
SeSe: Well, SORRY! You're just so CUTE!  
  
Jim: =~_~= mou! You are evil.  
  
SeSe: Yes, I know. Anyway, off we go to meet the NSX out in space! Our driver isn't Juunanagou today because he said he had another driving job to take care of. I don't even want to know what it is.  
  
A large van with a sign reading "Just Married" drives very quickly and unevenly by behind SeSe. In the car is Rei and Yamato who are now married and Juunanagou who is driving like a maniac as usual.  
  
Studio Audience: WOOOO!  
  
SeSe: =O,o= Well, anyway. Today's driver is Trowa Barton. Hello Trowa.  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
SeSe: All right then.  
  
Studio Audience: HI TROWA!  
  
SeSe: Dammit, would you all shut up!!! Just because you're obligated to be here doesn't mean you have to keep flappin yer jaws!!!  
  
Studio Audience: =O_O= (shuts up)  
  
They all get in the spaceship.  
  
Trowa: (flies the space ship up to a large green ship) "...."  
  
SeSe: Um...I think that's supposed to mean "Here we are." Or something....  
  
Arashi: O_o  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
SeSe: =_= RRR...Anyway, Geo...the show, yes...Everyone onto the ship.  
  
Zazu: (inside the ship) We're being invaded by fangirls!...And what appears to be a depressed-looking boy, a child, and....a studio audience? =O,o=  
  
Geo: They're the people from FANATIC. I'm supposed to meet one of my numerous admirers today.  
  
Zazu: =-_-= How come YOU have the admirers?  
  
Geo: Well, I'm sure you have one or two as-DAAA! **thrown backward by an excited girl named SeSe**  
  
SeSe: ZAZUUUUUUU!!!!! **glomps onto Zazu**  
  
Zazu: WAAAAAHHHH! **falls over** =@_@= GIRL! PRETTY! GLOMPING!  
  
SeSe: WAI WAI WAAIIII **cuddles**  
  
Zazu: =@_@= **can't move**  
  
Geo: =O,o= Toldja.  
  
Zazu: =@_@=  
  
Arashi: GEOOOOO!! **glomps Geo**  
  
Geo: EEE! **flies backward** Ow...well, hello there!  
  
Arashi: WEEE! =^_^=  
  
Geo: Uh, hehe =^_^=  
  
Arashi: I know you love sweet things, so I brought you the deed to Mr. Bulky's!  
  
Geo: =O,o= You bought me a candy store?  
  
Arashi: Yeah! I had to sell my house and furniture and rob a couple banks, but I managed to save up enough money!  
  
Geo: =O,o= Wow.  
  
Arashi: Do you like it?  
  
Geo: Yeah, I like it!!!  
  
Arashi: Shall we?  
  
Geo: We shall!  
  
Arashi and Geo link arms and skip away happily to Mr. Bulky's.  
  
Geo and Arashi: EEEHEHEHEHEHE!  
  
Jim: =O,o=  
  
Studio Audience: **not sure what to do again** =O,o=  
  
SeSe: Zazu! Zazuuu!  
  
Zazu: =O_O= Um...I'm glad you like me and everything, but there are about 7 sharp implements jabbing into my back right now and-ow.  
  
SeSe: Oops! Sorry!!!! **gets off him**  
  
Jim: Welcome to my world, man.  
  
SeSe: Oh, shut up, you =~_~=. You just misinterpret my affection.  
  
Jim: ...  
  
Zazu: Awww. You can give me all the affection you want, uh...what was your name again?  
  
SeSe: I'm SeSe =^_^=.  
  
Zazu: Ok, SeSe. Since Geo and Arashi went to Mr. Bulky's...you wanna go get some vodka and get smashed?  
  
SeSe: Hells yeah!!  
  
SeSe and Zazu link arms and skip away to get some vodka and get smashed.  
  
Jim: =O_O= Um...I don't believe those two are legal drinking age.  
  
Studio Audience: **disturbed** =O_O=  
  
Jim: Ok...well everyone else pretty much left the show...so I guess Trowa can say goodbye to you all...  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Jim: God dammit! Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here??  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Jim: ...I guess so. See ya next time, everyone. That is, if SeSe's not to smashed to do another episode. 


	3. FANATIC! Episode 3 - Mika meets Inu-Yash...

FANATIC  
  
SeSe: Annnnnnnnd we're baaaaack.....for another....ow.....head-splitting episode of...Fanatic. And if you don't know what this show is about yet, then....well, you aren't trying.  
  
Zazu: Ooowww my head...  
  
Jim: Well, if you don't remember last episode, SeSe met Zazu and they instantly clicked (THANK GOD)...and then they ran off together to get drunk. So now they're suffering hangovers.  
  
SeSe: Ne...Jim-u? Where's the studio audience?  
  
Jim: Don't you remember?  
  
SeSe: **shakes her head no**  
  
Jim: You attacked them all last night in your drunk state.  
  
SeSe: Oooohhhh...Ha ha ha...ow.... **holds her head in pain**  
  
Zazu: **takes some Aspirin**  
  
Jim: ... Yeah, anyway...Our fangirl for today's episode is Mika. Welcome, Mika.  
  
Mika: Umm...hi.  
  
SeSe: Hey, I'm the host...why are you introducing people?  
  
Jim: Because your head hurts...  
  
SeSe: Awww Jim-u cares about me.  
  
Jim: =~_~=  
  
Mika: Can we go meet Inu-Yasha now?  
  
SeSe: Ah, yes, of course...  
  
The group walks over to a large well in the middle of someone's yard.  
  
Kagome: Hey, what are you doing in my yard??  
  
SeSe: We got permission to be here! **holds out a stack of papers** So don't yell at me...my head hurts.  
  
Kagome: Oh...ok then.  
  
Zazu: Hey...is that really permission to be here?  
  
SeSe: Nah, it's just jokes I printed from Funny.com  
  
Zazu: Then why-  
  
SeSe: Shhhhhh. Let's go. **jumps into the well**  
  
Zazu: **follows**  
  
Mika: **follows happily**  
  
Jim: **sigh** Why do I put up with this? **jumps in**  
  
Kagome: **blinks** Hm...  
  
In the land inside the well...  
  
SeSe: Weeeeee're heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere. Ow. **massages her temples** I shoulda called in sick.  
  
Zazu: **pats SeSe on the back** Hang in there.  
  
Mika: Ok, so where's Inu-Yasha?  
  
SeSe: Oh hold on... **leads the group to a tree where Inu-Yasha is tied up by vines**  
  
Mika: We have to get him down!!  
  
SeSe: I KNOOW! Give me a minute! Jeeze...don't sh*t your pants...  
  
Zazu: Can you say sh*t on TV?  
  
SeSe: Right now, I don't give a sh*t.  
  
Zazu: =O,o=  
  
Inu-Yasha: Who are you people? =O,o=  
  
SeSe: We're the people from Fanatic. This girl here wants to meet you.  
  
Inu-Yasha: And what about that large group of people back there behind you?  
  
SeSe: **turns around** **sees studio audience** DAMMIT! THEY'RE BACK!!!! =_=  
  
Zazu: =-_-= Why..? Why...?  
  
SeSe: I don't KNOOOOW!  
  
SeSe and Zazu burst into tears and bawl hysterically.  
  
Studio Audience: =O,o= Why did we come back?  
  
Jim: Yeah, why DID you?  
  
Studio Audience: =-_-=;;;  
  
SeSe: Dammit....if my head wasn't throbbing like a damn hummingbird heart, I'd kill 'em....I'd KILL 'EM ALL!!!! MUWAHA MUWAHA MUWAHAHAHAHA HAAAA OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW **bawls in pain**  
  
Zazu: Don't strain yourself, SeSe. You'll only make it worse.  
  
Jim: **rolls his eyes**  
  
Inu-Yasha: Um...Wanna...like....help me down?  
  
Mika: Yes! **grabs a knife from her pocket and slices the vines around Inu- Yasha, whom I will now call Inu because it's easier to type**  
  
Inu: **falls down** Ow. Um. Thanks.  
  
Mika: **beams** Anytime!!!  
  
Inu: =O,o=  
  
SeSe: Wait...he's a dog demon. Shouldn't he have a dog face instead of a kitty face?  
  
Inu: UO,oU  
  
SeSe: That's better.  
  
Mika: WEEEE! **huggles Inu**  
  
Inu: Uwaaaah! **falls over**  
  
SeSe: Ahhww...here we go again with the glomping.  
  
Jim: AHEM. As I recall, you were the one glomping in the last episode-  
  
SeSe: Can it, Hacker-Boy.  
  
SeSe, Jim, Zazu, and the studio audience all turn around to see...a tree.  
  
SeSe: Wh...WHERE'D MIKA AND INU-YASHA GO???  
  
Zazu: =O_O= uummmmm...  
  
Wind blows by with an audible "HYUUUUUUUUUU" ala Rumiko Takahashi.  
  
SeSe: Oh god...we lost our guests.  
  
Jim: Well, once again. Aren't YOU screwed-  
  
SeSe: I'm warning you...  
  
Studio Audience: Hey! There's Mika and Inu-Yasha over there!  
  
Everyone stares at Inu-Yasha and Mika who are now both full dog demons, floating around and terrorizing the village.  
  
SeSe: =O_O= UUUM.  
  
Mika: MUWAHAHAHA! What a great idea to use the Shikon jewel to turn us both into demons so we can be together forever!  
  
Inu: I know!! MUWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Everyone: =O_O=  
  
SeSe: ....Well....sh*t.  
  
Zazu: Uuhh...  
  
SeSe: AHA...EHEHhh.....eehhhhh....well, at least this isn't OUR world...let's just...go.  
  
Jim: Good job, SeSe! Your damn show screwed up the whole Inu-Yasha storyline!  
  
SeSe: NEVERMIND THAT! LET'S GET OUR ASSES OUTTA HERE!  
  
Everyone scurries through the well and lands back in Kagome's yard.  
  
Kagome: **blink**  
  
Jim: **blinks back**  
  
SeSe: Oyyyy....my headache is even worse now....  
  
Zazu: **whines**  
  
Jim: **sigh** See ya next time... 


	4. FANATIC! Episode 4 - Tomoyo (my friend o...

Fanatic  
  
SeSe: AAAAAND we're back for another exciting episode of Fanatic!  
  
Zazu: As you can see, SeSe and I have overcome our hangovers!  
  
Studio Audience: **cheers**  
  
SeSe: ...  
  
Zazu: **blink** Right.  
  
Jim: **sigh** So our new contestant for today is To-  
  
SeSe: **knocks Jim out of the way** IT'S MYYY SHOW! Our new contestant for today is Tomoyo!  
  
Zazu: Yes, and just for reference, she's not the Tomoyo from Card Captor Sakura.  
  
SeSe: Ok, Tomoyo-chan. We're now going to take you to see your bishounen...Akito Hayama!  
  
Tomoyo: Yippee!  
  
SeSe: Ok, let's go!  
  
Jim: By the way, we have another new driver-  
  
SeSe: WHAT? Why?? Where do our drivers keep going?  
  
Jim: Juunanagou quit because he hated the mushiness from the first episode. And Trowa got fired because he was too boring.  
  
SeSe: ...He's a DRIVER. He's not SUPPOSED to talk!!  
  
Jim: ...  
  
SeSe: ERRRRRR. Ok...so who's our driver now?  
  
Jim: Spanish Babbit.  
  
SeSe: ....Spanish....  
  
Zazu: Babbit =O,o=  
  
Babbit: **wearing a sombrero** Hola, Senora, Senors...studio audience. =O,o=  
  
SeSe: =_= IT'S A BAT!  
  
Jim: yes...yes it is.  
  
SeSe: WHY IS A BAT DRIVING!??  
  
Jim: DON'T ASK ME!!!  
  
SeSe: MOUU!!!  
  
Babbit: **flies into the car**  
  
SeSe: And I thought this episode was going to be NORMAL. **gets in**  
  
Everyone else loads into the car. Babbit drives them up to a small park where Akito Hayama stands.  
  
Tomoyo: Hayamaaaaaa! **tackle-glomps him**  
  
Akito: **lies on the ground while the girl cuddles him** Um...hello.  
  
Tomoyo: Hi!  
  
Babbit: Ahhhww.  
  
SeSe: **glares at Babbit** I still don't know why they chose to hire a Spanish bat as our driver.  
  
Zazu: **shrug** Anything to grab viewers, I guess.  
  
SeSe: No...you see...Spanish bats will not grab more viewers...the stuff people wanna see on TV these days is...is...topless girls and guys in Speedos! You know, reality shows and stuff.  
  
Zazu: =O_O= Ok...  
  
SeSe: Woops. That was a disturbing outburst, wasn't it?  
  
Zazu: **twitch** =O_=  
  
SeSe: ...  
  
Tomoyo: **sigh** I'm so happy.  
  
Akito: **facial expression doesn't change**  
  
SeSe: ...Riiiight. Moving along.  
  
Jim: That's about all the time we have...  
  
Zazu: ...Hey, let's go to K-Mart and confuse people.  
  
SeSe: SURE! 


	5. Interlude ~ Making the Video with Jim an...

Making the Video: Jim and the SeSe Slaves  
  
By SeSe  
  
SeSe: Hello all you faithful SeSe TV viewers! I know, I'm a scary bizzitch, but you guys have stayed with me all the way! So MWAZ to y'all....Well, anyway. I'm here with the hot new band (and I DO mean HOTTT with a triple-capital-T!!!), Jim and the SeSe Slaves while they make their new video for the song "Cavan Condemnation (Alicia Takes Power)." To begin the show, we'll go to the boys' dressing room where they are currently having outfits chosen for them by their fashion artist, Alicia- Princess Of EVIL.  
  
(SeSe walks down the hall)  
  
(SeSe comes to the door to the dressing room)  
  
(She opens the door)  
  
SeSe: Hello, I'm SeSe with the people from STV-  
  
Yahiko: STD!? =O_O=  
  
SeSe: No, no!! V!!! STV!! It's a V! DAMMIT, WHY does everyone ALWAYS get that WRONG!? We're a TV station...not f*cking chlamydia!!! =_=  
  
Akira: =O,o= Ne, Kaichou...what's...klah-mih-dee-yah?  
  
Nokoru: =~_~=  
  
SeSe: Eh. Anyway...Hello, Alicia! Say hi to everyone at STV-  
  
(Chuei is just walking in)  
  
(Unbuttoning his shirt)  
  
Chuei: What's that about STDs?  
  
SeSe: =_= AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Alicia: Um...  
  
(Alicia patpat's SeSe and sweat-drops)  
  
Alicia: Uh...hello ST-V viewers...  
  
(SeSe huffs and puffs)  
  
SeSe: AHEM! Now...Alicia...what have you chosen for the outfits of these very nice-looking young boys?  
  
Alicia: Well, as you see, most of them are already dressed. Those are the boys sitting in the kitchen...I see Akito, Nino, Kaoru, Marco, Mondo...well, let's go and see, shall we?  
  
SeSe: We shall!  
  
(SeSe and Alicia walk into the kitchen)  
  
Alicia: Boys, the people from STV are here...  
  
SeSe: Before any of you say anything that's a V!! Not a D!  
  
Nino: ...I figured. I didn't think anyone would name a TV station STD...  
  
(SeSe stares at Nino)  
  
(SeSe gets glowy-eyed)  
  
(Starts to cry)  
  
SeSe: EXACTLY! You're...**sniffle** You're...the only person ever to...think about that before commenting...I thank you...I thank you greatly. CAMERA MAN! Get more shots of this cute, smart little boy! NOW!  
  
Kevin: Ok, ok!  
  
(Kevin gets more shots of Nino)  
  
(Nino blinkblinks)  
  
SeSe: That's enough, manslave.  
  
Kevin: Right, Mistress SeSe.  
  
SeSe: Now set the camera up where it can see us while we converse...and take a break.  
  
(Kevin looks overly happy)  
  
Kevin: Oh, Mistress SeSe! Thank you so-  
  
SeSe: While you're on your break, you can clean my shoes. Spit-shined now. Don't hold out on me, you lower being.  
  
Kevin: Y-yes, Mistress.  
  
(Kevin gets down on his knees and shines SeSe's shoes)  
  
Alicia: ...YOU...  
  
(Kevin sweats)  
  
Kevin: D-Don't hurt me...Alicia the Great...Alicia the one who is so much more cool beans than I...  
  
Alicia: Grr...  
  
SeSe: Anyway...Akito. What do you think about the choreography in the video you are about to film?  
  
Akito: ...It's...fine.  
  
SeSe: ...and?  
  
Akito: It's...dancing. I hate dancing.  
  
SeSe: ...A...ano-  
  
Akito: I don't even like being in this band. WHY am I in this band.  
  
SeSe: An...no...N..um...what about you, Mondo?  
  
Mondo: It's pretty cool stuff....we get to do a lot of movement, and movement is good.  
  
SeSe: You heard it straight from here at STV--  
  
(SeSe glares at Yahiko in the other room)  
  
SeSe: "Movement is good." We'll be back after these commercials.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Jen: Ever hate someone SO much that you just need to harm or maim them with SOMETHING?  
  
(Alicia dressed up as a dominatrix nodnod's)  
  
Jen: Well, now you can! And the Mika-Chan Torture Chamber can help! Just call 1-900-TORTURE now and you can choose to order from our large selection of weapons and torture instruments! We have metal bats, crow-bars, whips, lines, ropes, hand-cuffs, paddles, anything! You just name it, and we have it!  
  
(Alicia cracks her whip at a scared-looking Kevin dressed as a bunny)  
  
Alicia: LICK MY BOOTS!  
  
(Alicia looks at the camera)  
  
Alicia: Thanks, Mika-Chan!  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
SeSe: And we're back at the studio where Jim and the SeSe Slaves are filming their new video!  
  
(Jim walks out and sees SeSe)  
  
Jim: =O_O=  
  
SeSe: Ah, here's the leader of the band now! Jim! Jim! Hey! Don't run away!  
  
(Jim runs for dear life)  
  
Jim: OH GOD!!! NOT HER!!! ANYONE BUT HER!!! OH GOD WHY!!! WHYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
SeSe: Eh heh...heh heh...heh...  
  
Alicia: ...Why's he so scared of you?  
  
SeSe: Um...we've done some work together on Fanatic.  
  
Alicia: I see...  
  
Jim: It's the child molester, everybody!!! RUN!!!  
  
Chiriko: But we have to film our video!  
  
Phibrizzo: Yeah...I mean, I wish I could kill the girl too, but we have a video to make here...  
  
Akira: =O,o= What's a mo-lester? =o,O=  
  
Nokoru: =~_~=;;  
  
SeSe: OH. MY. GOSH. Ok, HOW many screaming MTV fangirls would DIE to have Phibrizzo want to kill them? OH MY GOSH. I'm so lucky! Oh my gosh!  
  
Phibrizzo: =O,o= Dude.  
  
Kaite: That's one f*cked up girl, right there.  
  
SeSe: I'm calm...I'm calm...Ok, now, let's watch while the boys record their video.  
  
(The background is a large mural of a fear-stricken Cavan in a dress and a powerful-looking Alicia in a dominatrix outfit. Both of them are in a torture chamber)  
  
SeSe: Wow..that's pretty good.  
  
Alicia: Yeah...Ian-chan painted it!  
  
SeSe: Really? COOL BEANS!  
  
(Alicia nods)  
  
(The music starts and the boys begin to dance and lipsync)  
  
**Guitar intro**  
  
Jim: Hey! You know the ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules!  
  
Ken: That guy named Cavaaaaaaaaaaaaan is just a fooooool...oh babyyy..  
  
Nokoru: The way he taaaaaaaaaaalks is just so WROOOOO-OOO-OOOONG!  
  
Akira: But dear Alicia...she is strong...oh baby yeah.  
  
(Syaoran, Nino, Marco, Ascot sing in four part harmony)  
  
S, N, M, A: Aliciiaaaaa....she's the oooone! We want herrrr to rule the Earth!  
  
Chuei: CAVAAAAAAAAAN deserves the whip! For suuuure girl...aw yeahhh...  
  
(Zazie, Akito, and Kaite sing in three part harmony)  
  
Z, A, K: Wooo-ooo-ooooaaaah yeah! ALICIAAAA! You're our Goddess!! Cavaaaaaaaaan is like dirt...compared to you, girl!  
  
(music changes to slow and pretty)  
  
Jim: Aliciaaa...you're just so sweet...you're the oooone we truuust...  
  
Red: That Cavaaaan guuuuuyyy needs a life! He really, really must....  
  
(All the boys sing in harmony...with a lot of parts and stuff)  
  
All boys: GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
Yellow: AWAAAYYYAYAYAYAAAAAYYYY!  
  
Kaoru: Oooohhhh aaayyyyy ayyyyyy ayyyyy ayyyyy Awayyyy...  
  
Marco: GO AWAYYYYyyyy ayyyyy ayyyy....  
  
Akito: Away. Away with your evil ways. Away. Demon. Just....go. Away. Now.  
  
Yahiko: Aaaayyy awayy.....  
  
All boys: CAVAN'S CONDEMNATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOON....  
  
(Dramatic pause in music)  
  
Chiriko: Aliiiiiiciiiiiiaaaa.......takes poooooweeeeeeeer......  
  
(Song ends)  
  
(Alicia stands up and claps)  
  
Alicia: HOORAYYYY!  
  
SeSe: Hoowwaaayyy! =^_^= Can you make a song about me, next??  
  
Jim: Um...yeah, whatever...you child molester.  
  
Akira: Um...WHAT is a child molester?  
  
Nokoru: Just...don't ask.  
  
Akira: ...ok.  
  
SeSe: Well, that about wraps up the show for today! Join us next time when we'll probably be filming the making of MY JATSS song! =^_^= Weee!  
  
Jim: =-_-=;;  
  
SeSe and Alicia: JA!  
  
- - - - - -  
  
(Next time on STV's Making The Video)  
  
(SeSe is trying desperately to pull Jim's shirt off)  
  
Jim: NO!! NOOO!!!  
  
SeSe: But you just HAVE to be topless! It's so sexy!! Come on, you want people to think you're a wimp!!?  
  
Jim: YES! =;_;=  
  
SeSe: ...  
  
(Akira walks out wearing Joe Boxers)  
  
Akira: Hey...Why is my outfit so....small?  
  
SeSe: ...WAIIIII!  
  
(Nokoru walks out wearing the same)  
  
Nokoru: ...I feel so exploited.  
  
(Syaoran in boxers nodnods)  
  
(Kevin is trying desperately to shine SeSe's AND Alicia's boots at the same time)  
  
(Alicia whips)  
  
Alicia: FASTER!  
  
Kevin: YES MISTRESS!  
  
(Kevin shines faster)  
  
**Fast-forward to end of episode**  
  
(SeSe watches the video backwards since she's already watched it forwards enough times to watch it in her head)  
  
SeSe: La la la...I wonder what the song sounds like backwards.  
  
(The music plays)  
  
Jim: Heeeeellllllpppp uuuuussss weeeee're slaaavesss SeSe viioooolaaaates ussss pleeeaaaasee heeeeelp....weeee can't....gooooo oooonnnn...  
  
SeSe: =O,o=. That's odd.  
  
(SeSe plays it forward again)  
  
(The music plays)  
  
Jim: SeSeeeeeee is the light that starts my day! Sheeeeee is all I ever wanted in a giiiirl! Oh, baby! Yeeeaaaaah baby!!!  
  
SeSe: .... 


End file.
